Sponge bath it is.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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