Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
