they need to just BURY HIM!
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
