We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
