i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
