i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
