I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
