I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
