she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
