do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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