you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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