But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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