drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
