youre lurking in front of me
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
