at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
