Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
