two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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