the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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