he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
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