You're so nebulous sometimes
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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