i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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