after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
