You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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