Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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