Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
