So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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