you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize