Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
