I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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