I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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