Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
