he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
