dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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