I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
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