'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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