I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I think my vagina is haunted
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
