i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
