Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
