you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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