So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
