once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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