Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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