the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
