What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
