Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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