I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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