This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
