Plan B is the new Plan A
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
