if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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