If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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