I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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