I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
