I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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