Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
