your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
